Monday, July 17, 2006

Vegas Post #1

What a day! We landed in Las Vegas around 1pm local time. It was one of the smoothest landings I’ve ever witnessed in a plane. Fernando and I were delayed by an hour or so by the airline. The funny thing was that one man gave an announcement saying that the delay was due to mechanical troubles. Right after he finished, another man came on the loudspeaker and blamed the delay on air traffic control problems in Las Vegas. Make up your minds already, or at least coordinate your lies.

Fernando didn’t carry his luggage on; instead he decided to check it. That was another hour waiting for the bag. Instead of staying by the pickup area, we dashed upstairs to get our first Vegas beer. The sports bar we found was packed with people watching the final few penalty kicks at the end of the World Cup Finals Soccer match. We couldn’t get in, but the game quickly ended and we were able to sit down after the place emptied. Te service was great. We were served immediately and offered $2 shots with our beers. Here's how that question got answered...

We met cool guy from New Zealand and sat around drinking beers and shots for an hour or so. After that it was off on a suicide ride through the streets of Vegas with mike. Yeah, I know, I didn’t capitalize his name. He doesn’t deserve it. He was an ass everywhere we went.

Damn, this is taking forever.

First stop was Palace Station, where we checked in to our rooms and got settled for the evening. After a quick change of clothes we headed down to the Guadalajara bar, which is really just one of a million video poker bars in Vegas. We spent the better part of 3 hours drinking at the bar until hunger reared its ugly head. I demanded to be fed, so the 3 of us went over to the Broiler, a steak and seafood restaurant right next to the Oyster bar.

Fernando started off with his usual – two dozen raw oysters. We ordered a shitload of seafood. Calamari, shrimp, scallops, fried clams, and codfish – nothing survived. We ate and ate and ate. And drank.

To be continued….

Friday, July 07, 2006

Tearing It Up In SLC

Carne asada never tasted so good. I wrapped up my Salt Lake City trip for the week at Los Betos, an all night Mexican food joint on State Street somewhere. It was about 2:30 in the morning, and we were getting refreshed after the all out party at Green Street Social Club in Trolley Square. I blew a little of my Vegas bankroll, but I still have enough to do some damage when I get there. I went with Jose, Tiago, Matt and 4 hot Lithuanian girls. Please forgive me for not remembering your names. It’s just so damn hard when I can’t even pronounce them.

I saw a couple of movies this week, Superman Returns and Nacho Libre. Superman was awesome. Nacho was funny, but a little juvenile and plotless. The feces smeared on the face scene was way too much for me. I guess poop is not very funny when smeared on someones face.

My sticker collection is coming along nicely….

I have two shifts left before Vegas. I am giddy to the point of not being able to sleep well. How sick is it that I work in a casino, and then I go to the casino capital of the world for vacation? I don’t even care, I love it. Remember, faithful Vegas readers, Hogs and Heifers downtown on Sunday night. Any questions?


Thursday, July 06, 2006


How many 8 year olds will try this? Thats my girl!

Vegas on sunday, I'm countin' the hours.....

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Slummin' at the Laundromat

Ok, it’s seriously time to move. I’m over doing laundry, and this fatass is running around without his shirt on, presumably because he only owns one. I am trying to be nice, but the dude is driving me nuts, preaching about the joys of a single dollar blind when he tears it up at the Wendover Nugget Poker Room. “I’ve played poker for 40 years, but damn it is hot. I live in Mesquite, damn it’s hot. You know the washers are $2.25 in St. George, damn it’s hot. Are you hot? This town sure beats Vegas don’t it? I hear they’ll have 20 more casinos….” and so on.

Its time for some poker playing (Etiquitte) lessons. Here are some important tips for the masses:

1. Don’t put your cards under the button if you want to fold. Just throw them in like everyone else. Just ‘cuz you know how to slide them under a plastic disc, it doesn’t make you cool, a pro, or anymore Rico Suave like than you already are. Digging them out from under there is time consuming, and puts your cards at risk of being exposed. Stop slowing the game down trying to be cool.

2. The same goes for the dollar tip you put on top of your cards when you muck the winner. Don’t get me wrong, I love the dollar, but just throw it to me. Serving it up on a KEM platter does nothing for me. However, I don’t mind $5 chips at all. You can send those in however you want.

3. Don’t leave on your button. You held your piss through the blinds; one more hand won’t kill you. Respect your neighbors, don make them post double blinds. This is for forward moving button games only. In stationary button games, players can go when they want.

4. God gave you a mouth, use it. Don't leave us all wondering what you are doing when you throw some odd amount or are staring off into space. If you want to call, SAY CALL! If you want to raise, SAY RAISE! If you need time, just ask.

5. Don’t check a hand down with your buddies or perceived friends. If you do, don’t be obvious. Soft play is cheating; I don’t care how you do it. Nothing turns me off more than being bet out of a pot and then having two poindexters check it down.

6. Don’t ask the dealer “did I tip you?” If you’re not sure, just throw some more, it’s the right thing to do, trust me. Besides, I’m going to say no anyway…..

I’ll post some more when I think of them. In the mean time, I’ve gotta go. I think Mr. Chattyshirt is trying to steal my laundry.



Martin has a gift for bartending and BBQ. This is how we do it on monday nights in Wendover. These are the LEFTOVERS, kids.... Ribs, Scampi, Pork Loin, Beer Brats, and Kabobs. Salad is for pussies!

Saturday, July 01, 2006

Slow Saturday

I think money is relative to its amounts… In other words, the more you make – the more you spend. I am horrified when I think of the kind of week I had and where it all went. Clothes mostly, I think.

I do have a lot to show for it, but it still sucks when you see a FAT no limit game and cant sit down due to bankroll issues. I’ve tried it in the past, but you really do need a generous buffer when playing no limit, at least the way I play. A few hundred just won’t cut it when some jackass sucks out his gutshot and you can’t reload. You have to be able to come back and punish him for daring to take your chips in such a manner.

Funny stuff in the Salt Lake Tribune today about one of the poker rooms in Salt Lake getting busted. Check out this link - I know almost everyone involved. I hope they don't come down too hard on them...

Salt Lake City and Utah in general are so damn tight. Not to go on a rant here, but why cant grown ups choose what they do with their own money and what time of night they’d like to buy a beer. There’s a lot to be said for 24 hour adulthood here in Nevada. Almost all of it is positive, only the auto insurance rates suck.

Only four games for most of the day at work. Happy 4th of July. I’m glad most of my coworkers are on vacation.

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